Could every thing really be entirely your fault? The answer is NO. So, if you have a way of thinking that constantly blames you, then you are really suffering from low self-esteem. But wait, you must also think that you are so grand and powerful in the world that you are responsible for all that happens, and yet clumsy enough, so that you don’t do it right.
So let’s put things in perspective. When something happens and we do not like the result, we usually try to analyze and then see what went wrong and automatically put the blame on some one. Some people will blame others and not take responsibility for their action and some people will put all the responsibility on themselves. The reality is that many factors are at play and tere is never all or nothing.
When a result does not turn out the way we want it, what can I do?
Go over the event from the beginning and write it down as it appears to you
Become aware of your role in the event, your thoughts, your feelings, your intentions, your behaviors
See if your way of behaving was in tune with your original intention
Did your intention change in the middle of the process
Assess to find what did you have control over and what was out of your control
Analyze how did you handle the area that you had some control over
What have you learned from this interaction that can be useful if the same matters or similar matters happen again
Acknowledge yourself for all that you did right in the process
Forgive your self for all that you did not know or that you made a mistake about
Know that at any moment, you did the best that you were capable of with all the information that you had at that time
Take the values that you have learned and store it for the next time.